It is a common delusion that you make things better by talking about them.
-- Dame Rose Macaulay
Pardon me, Rose, but it seems to me that you are either very cynical or very disheartened in life. If you include the broader range of expression and perception, then "talking about things" is practically the only thing which actually makes things better.
If you include the broader range of expression and perception, then "talking about things" is practically the only thing which actually makes things better. (Eolake said)
ReplyDeleteAgreed Eolake. Talking about them does help. When you posted the Loneliness/Divorce discussion it helped me tremendously. Thank you again for doing that.
You are such an understanding man. Your blog is worthwhile reading. Keep up the good work my Danish friend.
in relationships between men and women, often women believe talking about "the relationship" will make it better, while in general, men communicate and make better by doing. I know I am generalizing.
ReplyDeletemore specifically, women want to talk about their feelings about the relationship (again, I'm being general), and men think, Why fix what aint broke?
ReplyDeleteI'm a real talker, and I've had to learn how to be quiet. In this sense I agree with the original quote.
I also really appreciate men who are able and willing to communicate well.
Of course in this contex I mean Communicate, not just chatter like Italian fish wives.
ReplyDeleteI also really appreciate men who are able and willing to communicate well.
ReplyDeleteBut to find another is often like searching the haystack for that proverbial needle :(
Don't be sad I tell myself. It will happen "someday."
I think I'll get my buddy Pascal to give me an injection of patience while I stand in the corner watching other couples walk happily by.
But then I am reminded of what my Lord said long ago, "Greater is He that is in you then He that is in the world."
My Lord Jesus will send me my love. Don't be sad.....Yes my Lord.
not just chatter like Italian fish wives.
ReplyDeleteWTF?
Anonymous said...
ReplyDeletenot just chatter like Italian fish wives.
WTF?
You don't watch many B Films do you? Don't really blame you, they're no brainers anyway.
"Of course in this contex I mean Communicate, not just chatter like Italian fish wives."
ReplyDeleteHey, I think Italian fish wives chatter is very musical and pleasant! I admit my opinion might be different if Italian was more than simple sounds to my ear... ;-)
"I think I'll get my buddy Pascal to give me an injection of patience"
Careful what you wish for : patience costs more than caviar in Lebanon today. Something about "increased demand", or whatnot...
But I'll try to find you a dose, tax free of course. (Shhh! Don't tell anyone!)
Communication is good. It is also rather specifically feminine. Ladies, if you find a good man but he's no communicating maven, remember this is why men don't complain about groups of women friends. We understand your needs. While you Eves were maintaining the fire and planning and analyzing, we Adams were out hunting uncooperative beasts. We're more "oriented" toward action by nature. And by Nature.
It is all a matter of degree, really. Women in average tend to talk more (no criticism meant). Each gender globally has its stronger suits.
Before I'm mistaken for a misogynist, let me hasten to add this : biology has shown that women's muscles are slightly less efficient than male, which explains the difference in sports world records... but the vast majority of men could never hope to compete with an average female athlete! Years of hard work are far more important than the letter of a certain chromosome. Plus, human variability means that many men or women will excell in domains traditionally not their own.
Which is perfectly okay with me.
Somebody (a guy) once said : "Free will for a man often means choosing the woman who'll take the decisions for him."
Maybe this is why women talk good. :-)
but the vast majority of men could never hope to compete with an average female athlete!
ReplyDeletePleasssssssse stop that. What do you expect with a comment like that? It appears bias. And didn't you once use the word "nigger" in one of your posts?
You are not a racist are you? A friend told me that some of the bloggers on this site were. I don't know for sure, but I hope not.
We have enough of that where I live.
A friend told me that some of the bloggers on this site were. I don't know for sure, but I hope not.
ReplyDeleteMr Proud Black Man,
There are no racist people that dwell here. They are very kind and loving folk who have discussions about various topics.
You were mislead. Please do not assume something without first looking into it, eh? I am honored to be a part of Mr. Stobblehouses's site. He has good attributes and thoughts (some I may not always agree with) but nevertheless he lets me speak my opinions and let's others too.
Gracefully yours.
Talking about things may not directly make things better, but very few processes are direct. Living is complex and requires many "steps" toward progress. In fact, 3 steps forward followed by 2 steps backward is not uncommon.
ReplyDeletelucid twilight,
ReplyDeleteI think we may be defining complexity differently.
You see it as wringing of hands and angst. I'm talking about a process that humanity may be on the verge of understanding, and it's a good thing, or, at least, a progress-allowing thing.
One of the best examples of the complexity I'm speaking of is the "invisible hand" Adam Smith wrote about.
king zod, thank you. You always show up at the right time. You and Pascal ought to meet :) I think you have a lot in common...
ReplyDeleteproud black man, I like your name.
I am not racist, or race oriented, except the times I wished I had been born a beautiful black woman. Actually this is more often than you know. Every time I hear Yolanda Adams belt out "The Battle is the Lord's" I am no more a little white girl.... I am powerful too.
lucid, I agree, life is simple at the core.
Terry, I've also heard the H.S. whisper to me, Greater is She who is in you, than she who is in the world....
love to you all,
laurie
Proud Black Man (I too like the sound of this),
ReplyDeleteThe simple fact that you ask before judging shows you're the kind of people I love to talk with. Regardless of origin, color, language, gender, country, etc. You've instantly gained my respect there.
"We have enough of that where I live."
Well, I'd say we have too many of those everywhere. I'm Lebanese; my fellow countrymen have some common attitudes that put me to shame.
Your friend simply made a hasty opinion about me based on incomplete facts. I had made my beliefs quite clear as early as last July on this thread, please read it all and then tell me whether I'm insulting your legitimate pride.
"And didn't you once use the word "nigger" in one of your posts?"
I did MENTION the word, but not USE it. Like you just did here. Big difference, isn't it? As I recall, I quoted that scene in Rush Hour, where Chris Tucker greets a fellow bro' in a bar saying : "Whassup, my nigger?"
I then pointed out that Chris Tucker used that word but couldn't be racist, because he's black. (Then clueless chinese cop Jackie Chan tries saying the same thing to the guy to fit in, and of course a fight breaks up!)
The bottom line is, I don't fear words, only the intention with which they are used. A proper word may be used with a very mean intention, and reversely. Some sensitive people may have trouble seeing the difference. I can understand this, sometimes people will have very valid reasons to react quickly in case of doubt or suspicion. Their survival may depend on it where they grew up.
You're very much welcome here, Mr Proud. Every new voice and point of view is enriching to all. This is why I visit this blog.
I love to joke. I hate to mock and hurt. But some misunderstandings can happen in such a culturally diverse place. That's all there is to anything.
Speaking of which...
David Gallaher,
I recall that joke about a man setting off to visit his sick friend: "Man, what a blizzard! I thought I'd never make it. Two steps forward, and then three steps bacwards! -How on Earth did you manage to arrive, then? -Oh, that's because I gave up and headed back home."
"The three steps forward, two steps back model is just another way of walking in circles."
Isn't that also a French Renaissance dance? :-)
"Nothing ever really gets done that way."
Alas, I follow the news : everything that ever gets done in international politics seems to follow that rule. Which proves your point, Lucid!
David Gallaher said...
I think we may be defining complexity differently.
Well, language in itself is a complicated matter, isn't it? Some definitions and concepts vary greatly with people. :-)
"king zod, you and Pascal ought to meet :)"
Let's set this at your royal harem with my buddies this New Year's Eve, shall we? I'll bring some lebanese Arak that'll get your crown spinning! (It is said that some local batches can achieve more than 100 degrees of alcohol...)
"Signalroom said...
I am not racist, or race oriented, except the times I wished I had been born a beautiful black woman."
I'd say this is the exception that confirms the rule. :-)
It's perfectly okay to see the differences, and to talk about them, as long as you don't define them as criteria for putting down some people. We are all different, unique, and that's allright.
The physical specificities of african women can make for some stunningly beautiful features indeed. I once saw such a girl in college, who looked like a living doll, I swear! A truly *perfect* face. Too bad I was so shy I never spoke to her.
Today, my mother's fantasy is that I one day marry a lovely and happy wahina from Tahiti. Who knows?...
However we look, we are humans, therefore with sublime potential, and this in itself should be the source of great pride. Um... while remaining modest, of course!
Noble, not-full-of-itself pride.
The genuine stuff, if you like.
(Nudity warning)
ReplyDeleteNow that I think of it, this girl looked a bit like Shondra. Thinner, with perfectly black skin, a rounder face, and fuller lips.
I know, I was such a fool to let her go! :-/
I am not racist, or race oriented, except the times I wished I had been born a beautiful black woman.
ReplyDeleteTo signalhome
I'm glad you are not a racist, but telling me you wished you had been born a beautiful black woman is stretching it quite a bit. That's very transparent.
To you King Zod
Thank you for your kind words.
Proud Black Man,
ReplyDeleteI must break it to you : Signalroom is not your usual transparent politically-correct dudette. When you know her a little better, you'll find out she really is that innocently enthusiastic. She's the kind of woman you'd expect to spot prancing across the land throwing rose petals around, except she prefers to spread unbounded love with the absoluteness of a child.
Such rare people do exist, and you've just met one. :-)))
"Anything will ultimately yield positive effects when good intention begins the process and is maintained throughout."
I'd add : and intelligence to back the good intentions. Reflection must also be maintained throughout to avoid some well-intentioned clumsiness. (Archie Andrews© springs to mind...)
"What I aim for is a method that gets rid of all the cumbersome complication and focuses only on the driving force of every thought"
I'm getting an image here : Lucid Twilight©, the well-meaning super-powerful psionic mutant. Anything his mind believes in, he can accomplish immediately.
I may try and sell the idea to Marvel Comics®. :-)
We'll split the cash, of course.
What do you mean, "Green Lantern rip-off"? I never mentioned any cosmic power ring, did I?
lucid twilight,
ReplyDeleteI think you continue to see complexity as a mental or "mind" process, while I'm thinking of it as more physical or external.
For example, the Santa Fe Institute (New Mexico) is devoted to the study of the complexity I'm speaking of.
Such rare people do exist, and you've just met one. :-)))
ReplyDeleteThank you Pascal. I consider myself a decent human being. I'm not really rare but I appreciate you honoring me.
Once you know me better I know you'll have further praise on my behalf.
I may even toss a kind word or two your way.
My lame pun of the week:
ReplyDelete"If I notice rare people, that probably makes me a rarist."
I know, it's awful, but my analyst says it helps preserve my mental balance. ;o)
A wee bit less jokingly, the worse it gets in Lebanon, the more my dubious humor will show up. Thank you everybody for your patience.
(Actually, the politics aren't too bad these days, but I've caught a cold, so...)
It's ONE way to make things better by talking. Right, Dame Rose?
Talking, communicating, joking with ZERO seriousness... I'd say it makes things notably better.
Pascal,
ReplyDeleteDid you know I'm Tahitian?
Proud Black Man,
you are rare indeed.
love,
Signalroom
"Did you know I'm Tahitian?"
ReplyDeleteNever had a clue! You have the hair, but it's blonde, so...
True, you also have the cheerful serene nature.
Well, aloha, wahina. :-)
Will your next photos be in a straw skirt? :-D
To re-state my earlier point: Talking gets nothing done. Communication, now that can move mountains! And very quickly to boot.
ReplyDeleteTo you Lucid Twilight,
You say talking gets nothing done, then you say communication can move mountains? Don't you realize that talking is communication?
I'm not picking on you either by this statement, but i've read some of your other posts and you write extremely long paragraphs but actually say very little. Why is that?
-Nildar said...
ReplyDelete"you write extremely long paragraphs but actually say very little."
-Lucid Twilight said...
"That's my point. Sometimes people talk without actually communicating."
Hey, Lucid, is that a guilty plea? ;-)
"I like to write, what can I say?"
You don't need help with that, mister. Figure it out yourself!
*<:o)
Wow, I managed a concise post! Woohoo!